Over-thinking, Under-thinking

Finding direction in an opaque time

Hello lovely souls. Spring has supposedly sprung but I write this whilst listening to the not so gentle patters of rain batter against my window. The sky is a blanket of grey and a fog sits over the distant hills… also over my brain.

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Over-thinky Under-thinky

Recently I’ve been feeling a bit over-thinky and under-thinky. It’s a strange paradox of over-thinking my way into under-thinking, almost as if I hit pause on any thought when there are too many possible outcomes. To some degree it’s like a form of procrastination. Instead of utilising the flood of ideas that wash over me, I let them overwhelm me into a mind blank. Imagine inputing a destination and never pressing go. You can see where you want to head but you’re not quite sure which route to take. Instead, you just stay put.

A lot of creatives rely on freedom within limitations, or at least I do. Too much choice and we can’t decide. Too little freedom and we feel restricted. When we don’t really know what direction to take we can find ourselves meandering to and fro projects, dabbling in new techniques, starting pieces, scrapping pieces, jumping from task to task and not really getting anywhere. As much as I hate to admit it, this has been the case for me the past couple of weeks (partially because there are client projects that keep flipping between go and pause).

Nonetheless, I started feeling immensely frustrated at myself to “get my sh** together”, to actually complete something and stay focussed.

In an attempt to hide this ugly over-thinky under-thinky pattern I’ve fallen into, I’ve been avoiding social media. Social platforms feel a little monotonous, opaque and “over edited”, and to someone who likes to remain authentic, I was reluctant to show my reality. But, these feelings and thought patterns are why I created this space. To shine a light on what we all do as creatives (and as humans in general) but shy away from admitting.

Soooo where to?

It would be insensitive of me to dish advice, because when it comes to mindset, what works for me won’t necessarily work for you. This space wasn’t created to promote some creative, life changing, career hack. People only share the paid partnerships, big clients, new studio space etc- when in actuality these patterns and stagnant motions I speak of are 99.9% of the reality behind those “accolades”.

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A step in the right direction

Personally when I feel this way, movement in every form is my answer; the sound of sludge blending with my thoughts as I run through muddy trails, the smooth glide of an oil pastel pressed onto paper, the tip tap of my keyboard as I offload these musings onto a screen. Doing something with my over-thinking helps quieten yet utilise it, rather than completely shut it down.

If like me you don’t really know where to pour your focus into at the moment, that’s okay. I do know that I’d rather take a step knowing I might fail, or to only get half way or have to re-route rather than not stepping at all.

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Until next time, I gently prompt you to take one step.

Chiara xoxo