Exposed surfaces

How healing is impacting my creativity

First and foremost let me start by saying Happy New Year lovely souls! Sometimes I wish I could hug each of you but alas, at least I can offer a gentle read, prompt you to grab a cuppa and a minute for yourself.

It’s true this title contains many “trending” words. The process of growth and healing are hot topics that I’m no stranger to indulging in. Although resources on this topic are available in abundance, I still feel we fall short on transparent perspectives. 2023 unveiled traits, emotions, thoughts that I brushed under the rug until this undisguisable lump was not only tripping me over, but also loved ones. It was a reminder to check in.

I wish someone had told me the impact “healing” would have on my creative practice because it might’ve given me an extra kick up the a** incentive to prioritise it.

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Create to heal. Heal to create.

As I began writing this, I felt resistance. I often tell myself I’m not a writer so why am I writing? Truth be told, writing and visual storytelling have been accredited to my growth. Without going inwards I wouldn’t build concepts the way I do. Likewise, taking a creative approach to these observations help me to articulate them.

Although at times change can feel exponentially terrifying because we don’t know how it’ll appear - it’s safe to say the reality of impermanence has been a key component to personal and creative growth. Here’s what I wish I was told…

…Growth. It comes in many forms, patterns and paces. Tears and triumphs. Rejoice and relapse. People come and go throughout the process. Even yourself. You’ll shed layers of a past being to discover untold stories that lay deep within. You’ll build walls so high in attempt to shield from pain but in exchange lose perspective, insight and light.

These once protective walls will take time to tear down and leave lingering remnants of a past you. Barrier free and surfaces exposed, emotions begin to unravel and unfold in a world both encouraging and dismissing. Though fluctuating encounters may make this invisible flourishing feel somewhat futile, you’ll keep going because consistency trumps intensity.

The process will be as ugly as it is liberating. At points you’ll surrender to failure, reflect in stagnancy or question the rewards of your efforts. There will be countless moments where you are confronted with discomfort, where you toy between staying in fragments of familiarity or choose to be steered by curiosity. Whilst grappling with uncertainty, you’ll dig deeper and deeper, but until relinquished, old habits and frustration hide the gems you discover - a pattern that is only broken with patience and acceptance of what has been uncovered.

The beauty in this process is; no surface will be explored to its entirety, no terrain fully dug. A never ending expedition means never ending challenges, but with an expansed knowledge and lived experience you’ll find the inner trust to approach them with compassion.

Clarity to create

Your work is often a reflection of you and I began to notice a muddled mind equated to murky and clouded creations. If this process has revealed anything it’s that clarity = peace = alignment. When I feel aligned, creativity flows and that often comes from finding inner clarity.

Unveiling a style

For a period of time my work felt stagnant, lacking substance and I honestly began to feel bored. When I unveiled new layers within myself I noticed the same began to occur in my work. Work evolves with you and if you’re not evolving then neither will your work.

Confronting your ego

We all have an ego, whether you want to believe it or not. It drives us as well as inhibits us. I was so driven by metrics and analytics to the point I didn’t care what I posted as long as I posted. A picture or video of myself would get quadruple the views compared to something I poured my heart into. Well Instagram!? I’d like to thank you for your crappy algorithm it’s a true test of diligence and accountability *firmly nods head in sassy disgust*

Ties take time

I like to believe my work helps me connect with others, that I’m building some sort of community. In all honesty creating bonds takes time. How could I connect with a community if I didn’t know how to connect with myself?

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I use to resist the currents. I was “strong” enough to hold against them…until I wasn’t. Don’t get me wrong resistance is a default, a defence mechanism - but I’m often reminded it’s more exhausting to struggle with each wave than move with them. Emotions, conversations and experiences can all feel incredibly intense when submerged, but I find comfort in their ephemerality.

If you note anything from this let it be; Grow. Grow patiently. Grow authentically. Grow with the understanding it will ebb and flow. Grow knowing that at points it may appear selfish but long term is an act of selflessness.

Love, Chiara xo