People Pleasing Problems (PPP)
I’ve self diagnosed myself with PPP. Following symptoms include:
Lack of boundaries
Putting others before yourself at the expense of ones happiness
Spread too thinly
Disregard for ones own values and wellbeing
Wow, what a negative start! Bear with me for a sec…this of course first and foremost is an art account so as always we will link the topic of conversation back to the arty farty.
Have you ever felt so thinly spread, that you, without realising, completely neglect your own values and wellbeing? If so then this one is for you. I’m a people pleaser by default. I got it from my mum, who got it from my grandma. It’s certainly not a bad thing. In fact it’s quite lovely. This trait however transcends into all areas of my life, including business.
This year has been a tough learning curve when navigating PPP and client work. Negotiation is a true art form and one I’m always practicing. Sometimes we can be ever so lucky that a client is willing to pay x amount for said job. We sign the contract (read it first of course), bish bash bosh, bobs your uncle, you’ve completed a job with no faff beforehand. Unfortunately life just ain’t always that simple or kind.
I’ve felt pulled, pushed and overworked for little pay in this industry because I believed that sometimes beggars can’t be choosers. However, as I further into this career and build creative connections I realise just how important it is to not only value yourself, your skillset and time but the industry itself. We have to ask ourselves where do we draw the line? Are exposure and engagement enough or do we need to remind ourselves this is also our livelihood?
Do you remember those piracy ads before films “You wouldn’t steal a car…you wouldn’t steal a handbag”? Well I’m making a creative freelancer version…”You wouldn’t ask for a discount on your Asda shop. You wouldn’t ask for three cars but only be willing to pay for one. Asking illustrators to do work for free or for pennies should be against the law”… maybe slightly dramatic but you get my point.
My fellow people pleasers out there I want to leave you with some questions I’ve started to ask myself if my PPP tendencies sneak up on me:
Does this align with my values?
Are boundaries being crossed that make me feel unsettled?
Do my PPP traits in this situation come back to bite my butt in the future?
Literally drawing the line
A fun project has landed on my lap (and when I say landed I mean worked hard to get and address my PPP tendencies along the way). I will keep you all in the loop and maybe even take you through this entire project start to finish in a future newsletter but for now I am literally drawing lines and I’m. Friggin. lovin’. It! So here are some sneak peeks…
One final note
I’ve been reflecting aaaa lotttt recently. Sometimes people, projects, life events bring light to topics that we’ve brushed under the rug. It’s definitely not easy or pleasant but it’s certainly worthwhile reflecting on. I was so close to throwing the towel in with this career and other personal challenges at the beginning of the year. I’m so thankful I didn’t. I just want to remind you; If you’re lacking luck, make your own. Understand and remember that anything worthwhile will require work, that patience isn’t just a virtue, it’s a necessity. And finally, fall in love with failure, it’s life’s most accurate oxymoron. Failure can be so messy and frustrating yet it’s one of the most productive and valuable things we can do.
On that note, thank you from the bottom of my heart for joining me here you lovely soul :) love and hugs,