A past you would look up to the current you

Signing a big client, working abroad, doubting it all

It’s toasty and I’m bronzing in the sun as I write this… which means I’m not at home, where I hear there’s glimmers of spring but still a chill in the air (I’ve been home for two weeks…where does time go?!) With a much needed trip for a boost of vitamin D, I couldn’t wait to scurry away from my studio walls for a little break. Little did I know I’d be signing a project (with one of my biggest clients yet) before leaving. A project with a very short deadline and very long list of work involved.

I’m not one to prescribe advice, the following is more a brain dump of musings and observations. Maybe you’ll resonate, maybe you’ll feel hopeful, either way take from it what you will…

Guilt

My people pleasing tendencies flooded over me as I prepped all my drafts before leaving, knowing fine well I had no option but to work whilst I was away.

Freelance is odd. You’re your own boss but you’re also, in a way, an employee to your clients for a short lived time - or at least that’s how it feels to me. I planned as much as possible making sure my ducks were in a row before skedaddling into the blissful sun. Even then, the pressure to do a “good job” for the client whilst pleasing my family and myself hung over me the whole trip.

It ain’t all that exciting to look at in the beginning stages

Strengths

This project wasn’t completely in my comfort zone. It was a 50% split of illustration and graphic design. I had to keep telling myself I’ll manage, even though at points I really didn’t believe I would. There wasn’t really much in the project that played to my usual skillset - I don’t really draw animals nor do I design activity booklets…but that was the job. So I played to my strengths where I could…

…I’m not one to toot my own horn, but I’m quite good at staying organised and planning projects strategically. Once the structure, layout and roughs were approved it meant I could do the fun part on holiday - drawing. Although animals aren’t in my wheelhouse of illustration, it felt nice to go against the grain a little…and with over 30 species to illustrate I didn’t have much of a choice.

Plane for your thoughts

Butt sore, legs tight, mind wondering. The stress of everything I had to do when I got home took hold of me. I can’t say the tight confined space that is a plane helps ease anxiety. To calm my busy head, I continued editing this post and that’s when I had a deja-vu. This time last year, returning from the same trip, I was also stressed, but for polar opposite reasons. The uncertainty of this career taunted me. I was making no money and projects were slipping through my fingers.

Funny that. Ironic to a degree. I prefer this type of stress. Grateful for it even.

Doubt

I’ve finished the project on time and the client was happy with the outcome.

I wrote this on the plane, before I even completed the project. I was doubting myself. I don’t believe in manifestation, but writing these words eased the pressure a little. I was tricking my brain.

Well I’d like to tell you, those forecasted words became reality…albeit after three rounds of amendments.

A past self

I was reminded by my partner in the midst of doubt “Chiara 5 years ago wouldn’t have even imagined working on a project of this scale…let alone on holiday… let alone it being a global client” and I thought, damn, he’s so right. 5 years ago I didn’t have a clue… I still don’t. Does anybody? But it’s nice to think I’d be able to give her, past Chiara, advice, a promise. It does get better. You will see your efforts come to fruition. You will have (somewhat) a clue.

Line work to final cover

If you’re keen to see the whole project, or better yet have kids that would love nature filled activities, you can access the project here :)

annnnd if reading about the project didn’t paint the full picture, i’ve also uploaded a video which demonstrates a multitude of emotions… brace yourself.

---

---

There’s not really a moral to the story or nugget of wisdom, more so, I think you’d be very surprised at just how inspired your past self would be of your current self. You can do a lot more than you give yourself credit for so long as you keep plodding along - in your own way.

Until next time lovely souls,